She is sitting, at 9 o’clock in the evening, on the luxurious beige sofa in her overpriced apartment, located in one of the most desirable locations in London, anxiously listening to the building block neighbours arriving home, one after another… With every sound of the key unlocking of the main door, her heart jumps in the sweet expectation, that only lasts few seconds and then fades away. "No, it cannot be him. He never wished to keep the second pair of keys. He never wanted this much responsibility in his life..."
He never wanted her enough to be in the proximity. Like many, he chose the comfort of casual consumption of her body over a whole of a woman, which she was.
His self-deceptive freedom has put her into the cage of never ending unfulfilled expectations and unanswered question.
"What does it mean to be a women?"
Woman love is a very peculiar thing. During sex, she enjoys most, when she gives herself completely. When she fully opens up and let’s go; when she allows nothing else to be hidden under her vulnerable nakedness…
It is when a woman reaches her pick of an absolute let go, sexual partners access the most pleasure.
When it comes to being in the relationship this self-giving and self-loosing are considered as a burden and sign of weakness. How confusing it all is!
We want the modern times women to be empowered and self-reliant, as strong and ambitious and powerful as men. More often than not I doubt if that is exactly what will make a real woman happy.
I wonder if the modern idea of the strong emancipated woman is born out of unrealised love towards men. A true love dream that has become a painful deception or a love crash.
Love is a scary thing and not for faint hearted. To love a man (same as a woman) it does take lots of courage. Love is cyclical it comes and goes, and it returns again. With every new arrival of emotions and associated challenges we are invited to go deeper into it. To dive into it with yet another level of love mastery. Thus love expands and gets bigger and becomes a little bit more unconditional. A Woman only can keep opening up to love if she feels safe. She needs to perceive her partner as safe and able to handle her sensitive and fragile nature that mostly hidden in layers of all kind of mysterious expressions of what represents being a woman.
To be fully open and to give, she needs to go through the process of undressing. And more often than not she is not aware herself, what will be revealed under another layer of her emotional covers. Therefore, she needs a man who she can completely trust to be with her in this process. She needs to perceive her man to be strong to accept her expressions.
A strong man can handle his woman in any state. He is like a sponge that can adapt and take in all her flavourful juices.
He never sees a woman as a threat and will not fight against her. He knows that under the armour of intelligence, razor focused career ambition, steel polished manners there is a fragile feminine nature that is ready to dissolve under soft touch of lips and gentle harassing of her body. A girl who is willing to jump and dance around her man if he makes her pleasant surprise. A kind woman who will nurture her beloved and his environment. And a lioness, with who you must not mess with.
A real man knows that when a woman tries to hurt him, she is very badly hurt herself and her pain is a pain of tormented animal that is using her defence mechanism as a way to protect her wounded heart and soul. If a woman wishes to hurt a man, she is badly bleeding and hopeless about her recovery.
The real man when he touches woman body, sees her encompassing things beyond physical attributes. At a moment of intimacy, he sees her as his woman, and it means responsibility. Before anything, he sees in her another human with needs, dreams, feelings, victories and losses.
And then a woman whose purpose is to undress herself to the very core of her essence, something even her knows not much about... So both can dive into the journey towards the true love.
And .. another passer by her doors, another neighbour has arrived...
Another empty hope.
Will it ever be him... a real man that real woman awaits.